More than alarming statistics found on the ChurchRelevance blog, by Kent Shaffer.
To read the article, click HERE.
To those of you who read it, here are the 2 great questions:
- At what age should we as a church begin approaching tough topics?
- What do you think is the best way to teach tough topics to students?
Can I just say WOW, some very alarming stats…and never too soon to begin teaching tough topics. And the second answer to the best way to teach tough topics to students is honesty from parents and an openess to allow churches to be open and honest and to quit being sooo naive!!! Just my opinion.
I think purity should be taught in steps or increments, if you will, starting in the children’s ministry department or of course in the home. Our oldest son is 7, but daddy has already visited with him about appropriate touching because of a question that our son himself asked in kindergarten. (This is also a safety issue with both boys and girls–teach them what is not appropriate so they know when to recognize an adult or peer taking advantage of them.) It is important to guard our children’s innocence, without compromising their ability to stand firm against what society shoves down their throats on a daily basis. My son doesn’t know about sex yet, but when that knowledge or questions concerning the same arise, we will be ready to pass along purity principles to him. If we don’t teach it to them in our homes and churches, I guarantee you they will learn it somewhere else–and then we have no one but ourselves to blame down the road.
Well, I think we have to remember that there is quite a range among children. This is obviously happening; however, I don’t think the church should teach these topics without parental input and consent. Parents need to be talking with their kids, but it is tough. We don’t want to get ahead and overwhelm and we don’t want them to rely on friends for their information or standards. I’m reading Parenting Adolescents by the Rainey’s. It’s a few years old, but it is helpful for parents of kids who are at or on the brink of puberty. I think open question boxes for small groups could be good or what do you think “cases” for kids, but more than that is really for parents until about 12–keep in mind this is from a parent who’s not yet been there as a parent and we all know things have changed since we personally were there. I’d be interested to know what some our church parents of kids around 14yo think or wish they’d done differently. There’s a huge need for parent mentors.
Rhonda- I completely agree about the mentors, and on many levels including parents leading parents. And as far as talking to kids at church, I would absolutely want the parents included in on the conversations, preferably with some pre-planning of the talk.
Andrea- I appreciate you saying that it should start in the Children’s Ministry. As Shaffer said in that article, it just seems like a taboo topic that nobody is willing to talk about. But how great would it be for us to have age/developmental specific talks about the basics of purity and such starting now!
To all- unfortunately, not all parents are tuned in to what their child does or does not know, and does or does not do! So, in doing this, it would be our goal as a church (I think) to really address a multitude of issues that relate to a wide variety of folks.
I have worked in the Owasso Public School system now for nearly 27 years and have just a few insights from my experiences. Kids in 5th grade are 10 or 11 when they see “the film” and have the introduction by the school nurse. Before that time, they are talking the talk amongst themselves and are hearing the street talk about sex. Twelve is TOO LATE to wait to talk to them about purity. They need to have begun some open dialogue at home by age 8 or 9 so that the communication is open from the start. Not all the facts at once but explaining some terms they hear and relating them to the TRUTH and how God intends for us to use our bodies, his temple. I think a parent/child open discussion answering their questions that maybe come from an anonymous “box” would be great if everyone could do it! Waiting for the junior high ministry is too late. And that goes for more than the sex talk. Same for anything you put into your body, such as alcohol and drugs. 12 year olds at the 7th grade center are pretty experienced by the time they get there.